TALES OF A WEE HOLIDAY IN MALTA

WELL THEN I have just returned from Malta and it exceeded every expectation my tiny mind ever created. I'd been informed it was boring fruitless and bland but my three freundens and I explored the absolute malteasers out of Malta (oy oy) and it was fabulous. There are barely any tourists in the best parts because none of the aged and withering football-supporting couples that usually go there for their holidays can be bothered to leave their all-inclusive resort and certainly wouldn't want to miss the talent at the evening entertainment. The Maltese culture is really weird because it seems to be a huge soup HAWTPOT of other people's cultures, it's borrowed lace and glass from Italy, a bit of Arabic and just loves a bit of rabbit for supper. But all the towns we went to were clean and calm, and everything there was HUGELY inexpensive which is tasty for students.

Here, as an ignorant tourist, I was unknowingly fooled into buying a pint of ice-cream. 

Blue Lagoon, visitable only via a speedboat playing Pitbull loudly. It made me feel really cool.

Soft-serve PINT of ice cream anyone?

I present to yous an amazing cathedral in Rabat, it looks like a Vegas set it's so BLING. St Paul stayed here and casually cured a nobleman's father. Coz he felt like it.

 The inside was equally exceptional, the walls were entirely lined with bright fuchsia fabric and there were HUGE glittering chandeliers. Oh man it was good. And it was practically empty too, an undiscovered gem some might say.

I'd say the only down point of the holiday was losing the other two lasses, in the chaos missing the last night bus at 3am and, not having enough money for a taxi, having to wait until 6.23 for the first bus of the day, during the wait for which we were followed by a Nigerian man who wanted to be more than friends and eventually having to seek refuge in club toilets whilst the doormen dealt with him. A sobering few hours to say the least. On the plus side we did get to see the sun rise which was lovely and partially made up for it...?  Also the two other friends did have money to get a taxi home, but OH LORD ERROR, didn't have the room keys. So slept in a bus stop. But apparently there was some wonderful early-morning kayaking going on that kept them positive. 
CLASSIC STORIES 2K12 Adieu